You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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