I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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