I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
