yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
