oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
