I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
