Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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