Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
