Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
