He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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