Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
