thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
