it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
