haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
