he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
