Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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