If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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