youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
