Joe is yelling at the trees again.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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