never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
