Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
