Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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