I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
