Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
