He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
