you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
