we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
