i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
how drunk are you?
Several
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
