woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
