Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
When are your genitals available?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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