i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
