can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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