I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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