I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
