In the future we'll all be gay
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
