i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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