she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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