the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
