i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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