Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
