Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
