saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
