My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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