Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
