I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
