How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
