READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize
