I cannot find my penis.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
