One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
