be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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