nut hugger
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
