We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just threw up on my dentist
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
