Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
