Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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