well I can't set my house on fire every night
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There's always time for handjobs
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
